the things you think about when you are bored at work.

while i was reading about some poor female celeb, who's privates got caught showing...i started reading people's comments...and realized how many different ways you could actually say the word. so i went for it: how many different slang words have i heard people use to express VAGINA?

box
cooter
va-jay-jay
snatch
cunt
honey pot
beaver
pussy
goodies
junk
cat
bojingo
carpet
kitty
figure 8
chocha
cookie
v-dub
bush
cooch
nappy dugout
furburger
twat
coochie
punani
vag
muff
love shack
vagine
bearded clam

there's plenty more i'm sure....however i've yet to hear them heard.

in honor of the recent election...i must say

HAHAHA lovesss it!

SMH

do i even need to explain? the video speaks for itself.
however i do need to pose a couple questions just for my own peace of mind.
1. shouldn't he be in school?
2. why are grown women shaking their asses in his face? i mean....even little bow wow had girls his age.
3. who is buying his records?
4. kid can't drive....so he drives the golf cart?
NVM....i can't bear it. have a laugh yourself:

why does this still happen?

ladies please!!!! how many times do you have to be told this? i mean, really. it's got to be one of the tackiest things EVER!
so i'm leaving my building last night and i see some girl with an outrageously gorgeous, really, really, lux outfit on. i'm talking, embroidered shift coat, silk blouse and tweed skirt, louie tote, cute 4 inch heels.....wait a minute, oops, rewind. WTF is on your shoes? is that the PRICE TAG???!?!!!

UGH!!!!!!!


why do you do that? this is the number one way to CHEAPEN your look. wait, ok, make that number two (next to leaving price tags on your clothes). even if you bought your shoes at DSW for 60% off....I DON'T WANNA KNOW THAT!! at the risk of sounding really bourgeois, i'm sorry, but let me at least believe you paid full price...it brings so much more to your swag. you can get your miu miu's for cheap, but you don't tell people, except your close girlfriends.

just a little bit of soap and water, and some finger rubbing and VOILA! no one has to know.

RUINED a good song...

why would you even TRY to compete with a song that has jayz, yeezy, weezy and t.i.? did you really think you could bring something fresh to the table? not only that but you all are not ESTABLISHED rappers, so you're most definitely gonna pale in comparison...i mean, all i really need to say is that Team Blackout is sorry, they suck, they're wack...etc etc.
and why the hell would you tell people: "i don't need to wake up cause my daddy gives me paper?" YOU'RE A GROWN ASS MAN!!!! you don't say shit like that!!!! past the age of 5 you need to stop using the word DADDY, and to tell people that you've got swag b/c your father has money and gives you some????....you sound real elementary.
as someone else said, "he committed rap suicide".

sigh. see for yourself.


Team Blackout's version of "Swagger Like Us"

Am I Fat?

so i'm on the train today, and it was one of those LUCKY mornings where i had the seat all to myself for the whole ride. that is, until Franny Fat Ass decided that instead of taking the EMPTY seat behind me, or even better, standing up and out of the way....she wants to sit next to me. i was intently reading an article in the Express paper about the bailout when WHOOOOOOOSH!!!! some ghastly hoard of blubber squeezes (and God only knows how) between the outside arm rest and me...forcing my body to become dangerously plastered to the filmy window, as she spilled over into my seat like a overflowing toilet. WTF?
apparently, the wheezing i was doing due to my lungs being crushed couldn't be heard over her huffing and puffing. i mean, it takes a lot of work to push and maneuver yourself in a seat that DOESN'T FIT YOU!
as i extricated myself from the seat and tried to unsuccessfully wipe off her sweaty residue from my sweater, at Metro Center, i thanked my lucky stars that i didn't die.

so the moral to the story people: if you take up too much space in a seat, WALK...b/c i don't want to be subjected to the abomination that is your body.

Picture This

Seriously ... if I see this country bun on her head in some variation of the same one more time ... use your imagination.

Feel free to use this pic while reading the earlier post about 5 Things ... it may help if you can actually see the "stupid" on her face. Also feel free to check out the clip below if audio + visual tickles your fancy moreso than visual alone.

5 Things

This is the dumbest article that I've ever read (taken from an article on PEOPLE.com). Here is my take on the 5 Things I Didn't Care to Know About Sarah Palin

PEOPLE: She's frugal. "Sarah gave me a thank-you card after I helped her with her lieutenant-governor race," said her friend, Kristen Cole, who has known the Alaska governor since childhood. "She liked the card so much that she didn't sign it so I could give it to someone else."

PWC Gal: She's tacky...who doesn't sign a card so someone can give it to someone else? I'll tell you who...TACKY PEOPLE, not frugal, tacky!


PEOPLE: She's a techie. Palin prefers texting to phone calls.

PWC Gal: Is she a techie for texting or does the entire free world text? If we're just naming things that aren't true, then I'm an astronaut cuz I see the stars at night. RME (Rolling My Eyes)

PEOPLE: She's a rock fan. She named her son Trig Paxton Van Palin because it sounds like the band Van Halen. Says friend Judy Patrick, a former city council member who has known Palin for 12 years, "How cool was that to have a kid named Van Palin?"

PWC Gal: A rock fan or a bad mother and an idiot?? I'm going for idiot. What person tries to make their kids name rhyme w/ someone famous? I can understanding naming them after someone but rhyming. And contrary to Palin belief.... Van Palin sounds stupid and will only add ammunition to the kids that will ineveitably beat him up.

PEOPLE: She's adaptable. Palin used to wear Mary Kay lipstick, but she now prefers MAC.

PWC Gal: She's adaptable b/c she used to use Mary Kay and now she uses Mac. Well, I guess I'm adaptable and can run for VP cuz I used to wear diapers and now I wear regular panties. Who wouldn't want that in the white house?!


PEOPLE: She's a traditionalist. Palin is against waxing. Cole recalls: "I remember that one of her girls wanted to get her legs waxed, and Sarah said, 'Are you kidding me? What's wrong with a razor?' "

PWC Gal: Last but not least... she's cheap. Let your slutty teenage daughter go

wax her legs. You're letting her make babies but not wax her legs... pure genius

Wanna know the difference between a hockey mom and a pit
bull... its that I'd vote the pitbull into the white house before
Palin! OBAMA for Change 08'!