Am I Fat?

so i'm on the train today, and it was one of those LUCKY mornings where i had the seat all to myself for the whole ride. that is, until Franny Fat Ass decided that instead of taking the EMPTY seat behind me, or even better, standing up and out of the way....she wants to sit next to me. i was intently reading an article in the Express paper about the bailout when WHOOOOOOOSH!!!! some ghastly hoard of blubber squeezes (and God only knows how) between the outside arm rest and me...forcing my body to become dangerously plastered to the filmy window, as she spilled over into my seat like a overflowing toilet. WTF?
apparently, the wheezing i was doing due to my lungs being crushed couldn't be heard over her huffing and puffing. i mean, it takes a lot of work to push and maneuver yourself in a seat that DOESN'T FIT YOU!
as i extricated myself from the seat and tried to unsuccessfully wipe off her sweaty residue from my sweater, at Metro Center, i thanked my lucky stars that i didn't die.

so the moral to the story people: if you take up too much space in a seat, WALK...b/c i don't want to be subjected to the abomination that is your body.